Post #9

For this post, I reviewed my first two papers as well as my current 3rd draft. I do see a trend in the errors and is a pattern in my writing.

• I noticed I tend to use the same words alot. I seen that I frequently use the same word even in the same sentence. Also, when I use the word they or them, I tend to not describe who I'm talking about as if my audience should know who they are.
• When I'm trying to make a summary or describe something, I notice that I don't follow up on some statements. I tend to use one sentence in place of using a paragraph to fully describe in depth. This becomes a bad habit because it could lead to leaving the reader not fully comprehending what I'm talking about. I need to go more in depth and thus more organized perhaps.
• I also feel that sometimes my transitions into a different paragraph are not that great. I might be talking about one thing and transition into something else, only to later bring up the previous thought in a future paragraph. This could lead to some confusion because it can become harder for the reader to keep up.

I do feel that I am working towardstrying to fix these problems. I look into my peer's criticism as well as my professor. That's why I feel that my 3rd paper, I look into these flaws and how I can fix them to make my paper better.

#8

So I chose the the obama article by Charles Murray. This piece dealt with how many kids are facing a hard time because they need to have a degree as a requirement to apply to many jobs post college. The problem with this is that Murray feels many degrees dont correlate with the specific job in which you are applying for. He calls on the help of the president to help send a message, basically being to be given a chance to showcase your knowledge rather than let a diploma do it for you. Murray also talks about how many kids are not mentally fit for the rigorous work that you have to complete in college. He feels many high school seniors are not capable of comprehending his freshman college course work. Murray does offer a solution by asking for a placement test. This test would levelthe fields for all who are applying. If you have a diploma, it would not give you a better chance because it would all come down to who is more capable to do the job.

• Part of the reason why I picked this article was because I felt that the points made were valid. Not everyone is economically stable to afford college or smart enough. I agree with him on his points of how college isnt for everyone. I have seen people whom I graduated with from high school put their school aside because it just wasnt for them. I felt that I could relate to what he was talking about. College really isn't for everyone. We can't all be doctors or engineers. There has to be blue collar workers. I will disagree about the course work being too complex because that also depends on what university you go to. I agree with the testing in a work environment because it would give you the best worker. If you are educated, then you shouldnt have a problem with this because you would have gained experience and in some cases, internships within your degree aare required to graduate. That means you also get extra time to spend learning about what you will be applying for. Plus I related to this testing system he implements because it reminded me of testing to attend my high school, LaneTech. Whoever is capable to make it will and who isnt wont. There should be a window of opportunity for everyone.

Midterm:Thoughts #7

First, I would like to say that this course helps with constructive criticism. The essays and peer reviews give you some what of a feedback and what is liked about your writing and what isn't. I feel my development as a writer is somewhat improved, but not by a landslide.

• Since my 1st blog post, I wrote about how I wanted to write about all kinds of topics. That hasn't panned out fully since we've only had 2 essays. The essays have, however, been creative topics. Not typical when a student asks for more work, but I honestly feel that it is necessary to develop as a writer.
• Being benificial to me has been the peer reviews. They give you a sense on how to grade because you get to read others writing and style. It also gives you an opportunity to allow your writing to be benificiary of it. If I see mistakes on someones paper, I can try to avoid them myself. Also, being able to re-write your essay if you're unsatissfied with your grade. It provides a good chance to meet with your instructor or to use the writing center.
• More work. Maybe some writing excercises, like a mini in-class essay. Something that gives us more exposure to different topics and more chances to write.
• My writing process is the same. I understand I have some flaws in my writing as well as pros, but I write the same. Its hard to do a drastic switch especially when some professors like my writing and some might not.
• With writing, I feel you can only get better. You can't regress significantly in the way you write. I feel my writing has been better, but its extremely hard to judge off of one paper.

In all honesty, I do like the way you run the class as it is is very organized. The due dates give you an ample amount of time to review or rewrite anything you would like. The concept of the blog is real cool, but I wish from time to time that it could have some more fun topics as well as feedback.
*I really feel there should be somewhat more homework in the essay form. It is a writing class and this is college, so the workload should be raised a bit. Honestly, how else can I figure which aspect of my writing is good and bad?

•  

Post #6

The Ad analysis paper is definitely more about trying to break down every aspect possible about the Ad that i've picked. It's more about describing the Ad and dissecting it. You have to make valid connections about what you feel the author of the Ad was trying to interpret or trying to sell to you. Why would it appeal to you?

The narrative essay was kind of like telling a descriptive story. You want to make it interesting because and vivid because you don't have a visual like you do with the Ad. It's up to you to do your best at portraying the story as best as possible.

The tones would be different since on one side you're trying to tell a story and on the other it feels like an opinion based paper, but having to back it up with facts. Narrative paper allows you to be more loose and have fun with it. The Ad paper gives me a sense that my tone has to be more serious because I feel its kind of like a review.

The audiences are in a way similar because you're trying to lure them in to your visual. Then again, you have to give a fascinating story for one audience and a factual story for the other.  

Ad #5

• This is an interesting ad because of the imagery with in it. The obvious purpose is to sell the Coke brand, but as a brand that is classic. It compares it to some american icons who arent forgotten just like the slogan says. There is no other explanation, otherwise, they wouldn't have used such icons.
• I think it targets a broad audienc, making this ad very genious. You would have the older generation who saw the likes of Elvis, Marilyn Monroe or The Beatles. At the same time, I feel that a younger generation would be intriguied to want to learn who everyone is, therefore attracting them to it.
• I have seen other Brands try to use legendary groups as well to get the attention of people. One that comes to mind is Dr.Pepper and the Kiss. They used the rock group to make people feel their product is hip and good enough for even the famous.
• This ad features icons inside their products bottle. I think that creates a very exciting and explorative tone because it makes me feel like "what else can I discover at the crack of the bottle"?