Post 15 Final Thoughts

Looking back at the beginning of the semester, I feel that many of my goals were attained. I set out to be able to become a writer with more emotion and knowledge of how to write at a college level entry. Im still a work in progress, but my progress has been encouraging. I learned what draws a reader in. Now that I am more familiar with college level writing, I would like to add as a future goal to be able to give better critique. Just as my peers benefit me by telling me what is relevant in my essayand what isnt I feel that I should return the favor. I'm not good at peer reviews because sometimes I can be vague.

As the semester is winding down, I want to be able to have the same results as I did in this class with future classes and outside of school. I want to able to write in a serious manner regardless of the situation because writing is a serious way of communication in which people judge you on. I dont want to be just a writer at school, but use it in my everyday life. A strength I want to continue to develop is my syntax. Proper grammar is huge because it's easy to distinguish. A weakness in which I want to continue to work on is that sometimes I can be vague. To push your point across I have realized that you need to be as specific as you can. All in all, Writing 101 has been a good foundation for development as a student and individual.

Post #14

For my final portfolio, I will be reviewing my Ad analysis paper. Some key strengths that I saw in my essay were my examples to describe the essay. I felt I found a bunch of ways to describe my Ad. Also, I felt I made some good judgements on the section on competition of products similar to my Ad. I personally felt my conclusion was solid as well. Some weaknesses were that I didn't fully elaborate on some examples I used, meaning I relied on one or two sentences to describe them. My intro sounds a bit off topic because it can take long to get at where im trying to get at.

To revise my essay, I would like to re-structure my into to make it basic, yet concise. Prolonging the main point can draw a reader off the essay and I need to captivate them faster. My examples should be more clear and I should elaborate how they specifically fit to the Ad. If at one point I find myself saying an example is off topic, then maybe I need to revise if its a fit for my essay. It is important for my intro to be good so that my conclusion can be a match with it.

In the end I want to be able to apply a good structure to all the bodies in my paragraph. I enjoyed writing this essay and my re-write should warrant a more effective essay because I've learned from previous essays how to fix some "bad" mistakes.

lucky #13 leggo!

The essay that I enjoyed to write the most was the 2nd essay. I liked looking up Ads and getting a chance to analyze and interpret what I felt. Writing about the Coke Ad gave me a chance to try and see why many corporations do what they do and why they place certain things into their ads. I liked how I got a chance to interpret the message behind the images.
Even though the 3rd essay got me my highest grade thus far, I enjoyed writing the 2nd the most. I had fun talking about all the icons in the Ad. Getting a chance to tell the reader why we as consumers buy stuff based on what they advertise is interesting. I might use this for my portfolio because I truly do want to revise this essay and see what I couldve done for a better grade.

#12

Student athletes as well as coaches should be held accountable to a higher standard because of whom they represent when they take the field.

• I felt that my strongest point was that I clearly stated whom I want to adress within this essay. I didnt make it a vague statement and not generalize who I want to talk about. This also gives my audience a better hint at what to look for in the essay.
• Being a rough draft, my thesis needs to be better because I feel this specific thesis has a bunch of weak points. I didnt specify which level of student athletes/coaches should be penalized. I could be reffering to either high school, collegiate or even, but most likely not, grammar level academics. I also didnt specify what the higher standard was. To explain, it could be in regards to academics or how they behave or even their level of playing the game.

Overall I do see some glaring weak points that I need to adress in order to prepare a better thesis.

#11

I read the article "Should the Obama generation drop out"?

1. I saw that the writer was kind of biased towards not liking college education. He only gave a one sided argueement without acknowledging the other side of the argueement which sort of weakened his stance. He makes some excellent points, but his biased views make them weak.
2. Evidence was not there. He gave off some statistics without showing where he got them from or from what studies they were from. It's crucial to support your statements, but he just gives out his own opinion. He looked like he was expanding on his own ideas and beliefs. It would have been better if he provided some  actual life case studies to back up his argueements.
3. His tone was harsh and it seemed informal. Also, he kind of gave me the feeling that he was strong on his readers kind of insulting. Telling his readers, which contains college level students, that you should drop out. He kind of disses the B.A and B.S degrees, also calling us not intellectual enough. I don't know maybe he could've lessened his harsh tone

#10

The peer review system that is in place definitely has some good structure. For the 3rd assignment, I enjoyed getting to talk in groups prior to reading our essays. It gave a good vibe and allowed us to have a better understanding on the how others feel about the topic. Being able to discuss beforehand lets you see if your essay is on the right track. Peer reviewing in groups also gives you more feedback. I feel this is very effective because it gives you way more feedback and also more opportunities to read other essays and see how they are good/bad.

• A strength as a peer reviewer for me would have to be that I can figure out when a certain paragraph is fits or doesn't. I feel I can see this when I read others writing. Obviously if they have a good structure, it makes it easier for me to let my peer know they have a good paragraph.
• A weakness I see in myself is not being able to give very negative feedback. I just find it hard to tell someone that certain things just aren't good. What I mean is I usually try to find a positive out of a negative, but that can be bad for my peer because maybe I can help them out by being more critical.

I think that maybe there should be a peer review prior to the essay being due, like maybe 2 classes before. That way you dont have a "shitty roughdraft" and rather something closer to a final draft. This would give you a shot to improve in any last mistakes before handing it in. Smaller groups of like 3 or 4 are the best. It gives you more opinions without becoming to excessive that your opinion isn't taken into consideration. The amount of peer review time is just about right =)

Post #9

For this post, I reviewed my first two papers as well as my current 3rd draft. I do see a trend in the errors and is a pattern in my writing.

• I noticed I tend to use the same words alot. I seen that I frequently use the same word even in the same sentence. Also, when I use the word they or them, I tend to not describe who I'm talking about as if my audience should know who they are.
• When I'm trying to make a summary or describe something, I notice that I don't follow up on some statements. I tend to use one sentence in place of using a paragraph to fully describe in depth. This becomes a bad habit because it could lead to leaving the reader not fully comprehending what I'm talking about. I need to go more in depth and thus more organized perhaps.
• I also feel that sometimes my transitions into a different paragraph are not that great. I might be talking about one thing and transition into something else, only to later bring up the previous thought in a future paragraph. This could lead to some confusion because it can become harder for the reader to keep up.

I do feel that I am working towardstrying to fix these problems. I look into my peer's criticism as well as my professor. That's why I feel that my 3rd paper, I look into these flaws and how I can fix them to make my paper better.

#8

So I chose the the obama article by Charles Murray. This piece dealt with how many kids are facing a hard time because they need to have a degree as a requirement to apply to many jobs post college. The problem with this is that Murray feels many degrees dont correlate with the specific job in which you are applying for. He calls on the help of the president to help send a message, basically being to be given a chance to showcase your knowledge rather than let a diploma do it for you. Murray also talks about how many kids are not mentally fit for the rigorous work that you have to complete in college. He feels many high school seniors are not capable of comprehending his freshman college course work. Murray does offer a solution by asking for a placement test. This test would levelthe fields for all who are applying. If you have a diploma, it would not give you a better chance because it would all come down to who is more capable to do the job.

• Part of the reason why I picked this article was because I felt that the points made were valid. Not everyone is economically stable to afford college or smart enough. I agree with him on his points of how college isnt for everyone. I have seen people whom I graduated with from high school put their school aside because it just wasnt for them. I felt that I could relate to what he was talking about. College really isn't for everyone. We can't all be doctors or engineers. There has to be blue collar workers. I will disagree about the course work being too complex because that also depends on what university you go to. I agree with the testing in a work environment because it would give you the best worker. If you are educated, then you shouldnt have a problem with this because you would have gained experience and in some cases, internships within your degree aare required to graduate. That means you also get extra time to spend learning about what you will be applying for. Plus I related to this testing system he implements because it reminded me of testing to attend my high school, LaneTech. Whoever is capable to make it will and who isnt wont. There should be a window of opportunity for everyone.

Midterm:Thoughts #7

First, I would like to say that this course helps with constructive criticism. The essays and peer reviews give you some what of a feedback and what is liked about your writing and what isn't. I feel my development as a writer is somewhat improved, but not by a landslide.

• Since my 1st blog post, I wrote about how I wanted to write about all kinds of topics. That hasn't panned out fully since we've only had 2 essays. The essays have, however, been creative topics. Not typical when a student asks for more work, but I honestly feel that it is necessary to develop as a writer.
• Being benificial to me has been the peer reviews. They give you a sense on how to grade because you get to read others writing and style. It also gives you an opportunity to allow your writing to be benificiary of it. If I see mistakes on someones paper, I can try to avoid them myself. Also, being able to re-write your essay if you're unsatissfied with your grade. It provides a good chance to meet with your instructor or to use the writing center.
• More work. Maybe some writing excercises, like a mini in-class essay. Something that gives us more exposure to different topics and more chances to write.
• My writing process is the same. I understand I have some flaws in my writing as well as pros, but I write the same. Its hard to do a drastic switch especially when some professors like my writing and some might not.
• With writing, I feel you can only get better. You can't regress significantly in the way you write. I feel my writing has been better, but its extremely hard to judge off of one paper.

In all honesty, I do like the way you run the class as it is is very organized. The due dates give you an ample amount of time to review or rewrite anything you would like. The concept of the blog is real cool, but I wish from time to time that it could have some more fun topics as well as feedback.
*I really feel there should be somewhat more homework in the essay form. It is a writing class and this is college, so the workload should be raised a bit. Honestly, how else can I figure which aspect of my writing is good and bad?

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Post #6

The Ad analysis paper is definitely more about trying to break down every aspect possible about the Ad that i've picked. It's more about describing the Ad and dissecting it. You have to make valid connections about what you feel the author of the Ad was trying to interpret or trying to sell to you. Why would it appeal to you?

The narrative essay was kind of like telling a descriptive story. You want to make it interesting because and vivid because you don't have a visual like you do with the Ad. It's up to you to do your best at portraying the story as best as possible.

The tones would be different since on one side you're trying to tell a story and on the other it feels like an opinion based paper, but having to back it up with facts. Narrative paper allows you to be more loose and have fun with it. The Ad paper gives me a sense that my tone has to be more serious because I feel its kind of like a review.

The audiences are in a way similar because you're trying to lure them in to your visual. Then again, you have to give a fascinating story for one audience and a factual story for the other.  

Ad #5

• This is an interesting ad because of the imagery with in it. The obvious purpose is to sell the Coke brand, but as a brand that is classic. It compares it to some american icons who arent forgotten just like the slogan says. There is no other explanation, otherwise, they wouldn't have used such icons.
• I think it targets a broad audienc, making this ad very genious. You would have the older generation who saw the likes of Elvis, Marilyn Monroe or The Beatles. At the same time, I feel that a younger generation would be intriguied to want to learn who everyone is, therefore attracting them to it.
• I have seen other Brands try to use legendary groups as well to get the attention of people. One that comes to mind is Dr.Pepper and the Kiss. They used the rock group to make people feel their product is hip and good enough for even the famous.
• This ad features icons inside their products bottle. I think that creates a very exciting and explorative tone because it makes me feel like "what else can I discover at the crack of the bottle"?

Revisions #4

I think that my final paper had more concise thoughts. After reading my peers review, I decided to add some more detail and examples. My rough draft had more on my thoughts of my narrative rather than better examples. I wouldn't call my revisions major, but i did make revisions. It had to do more with my content and some focus. I felt my rough draft needed to be expanded, idea-wise. Usually when I do a rough draft, I try not to make a "shitty rough draft". I like to put some effort into it because it allows me to work with my paper better during revisions, rather than scrambling to patch it up. I do think I tend to repeat some words and I try my best to not let that happen. I felt that during the revision process I used my peer reviews suggestion to add some more detail, but I also made changes in what I felt would better word my paper.

• My strongest points, I felt, were my introduction. I tried to lure my reader in by giving an honest, but respectful feelings on what I hated about reading/writing. I also felt that a strong point was some of my usage of descriptions. What I mean is ellaborating on my thoughts.
• My weaker points were giving more concise details. Honestly, I felt that if I gave factual examples from the book that I would be writing a book review and I didn't want to take that route. I wanted to give my feelings and not what occured in the novel.

#3

• A difference between an A or C paper can deal with punctuation and grammar. You can't expect a good grade if the content you place/submit to be graded looks horrible. Plus I feel that this is one of the few things that you can do something about because a thing called spellcheck exists. Too many grammatical errors lead to a lower grade, big surprise. (Not really)

• Your structure is also a big deal because you don't want to have info that's not pertenent to a topic in a paragraph that has nothing to do with it. What I always try to do is make sure the info correlates with the info I put in a certain paragraph. It's also confusing having no structure because you can become easily lost. It makes you look unorganized as well. The way I see it is if you have no structure, then my prof is going to think I did it last minute.

• Also, being able to draw your reader in is important. You got to have a good intro because that's what makes a reader know if they want to continue to read your paper. If its confusing or flat then its going to seem as if your paper isn't interesting because you can't produce a good hook sentence. If you can't provide a good hook then you probably couldn't do some good research to come up with something interesting.

I find that the hardest for me is being able to draw a reader in. You don't want to sound like your trying to hard, but at the same time I want to sound like I put effort into my intro. Usually, I spend the longest time finding a way to word my intro best and the rest of the paragraphs seem easier.

*** I strongly believe that a grade sometimes is determined by the perspective of a teacher. There is a huge difference writing to please certain readers and professors. It can change the way you write because teachers have different styles they like making it harder to write how you usually do.

Blog2

Potential topics that I am considering writing for my narrative are about my 1st time reading J.R.R Tolkien's novels. He basically allowed me to expand my imagination. He has some of the best fantasy novels and allowed me to have a sense of how creative writing is done. Some potential problems I can see is allowing my writing to stay in the border of Tolkien's mind. I may want to mimic his writing, but that's not what I want to do. I rather want to allow my writing become as creative as his. Also, I beleive his writing was the one that introduced me to wanting to pick up other novels/

Another topic that I might consider is how my senior lit teacher in high school didn't allow his class to be an easy A. He made us do many research papers as well as push us into thinking ahead (college & careers) in our lives. He really pushed me my senior year and helped me when I needed help. I think a huge con to this topic is that it's too vague. I feel many kids feel this way about a certain teacher, so it makes this topic less interesting to write about.

Last topic I'm considering is how a journal is/can be beneficial to becoming a more vivd writer. I noticed that the instructors that made me keep a journal made me express my thoughts when no one else listens. I can sit down and write how I feel without having to worry about my structure or grammar. I think a journal let's you be a more freelance writer. Possible negatives include how sometimes I wrote just because it was required and not because I wanted to. Other than that, I really look forward to writing on one of these 3 topics.

=)

Blog1-11

I'm currently taking writing 101 because it's obviously a mandatory course. It’s required by NEIU to help students become more vivid writers. College is about writing papers of great length and this course allows you to develop your skills in so many ways. Whether you want to learn how to write more proper or about things that may interest you, I feel that this course teaches you how to develop many skills that you don’t have yet. What I would like to gain from this course is to be more passionate when it comes to writing. To further explain that, I generally only enjoy writing on topics that are interesting, but at topics that I find dull I just write without any emotion. I guess I kind of want to be able to do better all around than just focus on the topics that are more interesting. I kind of want to minor in Italian and it being a foreign language makes me write down stuff more often. I would like this class to allow me to be more creative in my way of thinking when I write down my thoughts, whether it is Italian or English. Thus I think this is a fair course because of all the positive things it can bring forward to an individual. Plus this class actually teaches you something unlike some courses offered for credits.